ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
