we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
