Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
whose parrot is this?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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