yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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