i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
