well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
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Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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