oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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