The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
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Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
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He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.