hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
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Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
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I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out