I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize