Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
