She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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