i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
