you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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