Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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