Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
