Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
3pm strippers are depressing
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
