Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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