i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
