Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
only if we run a train.
done.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
