What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize