I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
