the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
