you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
