using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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