His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize