She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
