Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
