Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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