so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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