glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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