dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
