actually, I'm a sock model
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
