some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
