Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
