party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
