are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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