I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
