We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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