I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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