he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
