when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
