Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
