Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
