R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
