....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
