you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
