It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
