He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
