Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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