when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Is it penis luge time yet?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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