is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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