god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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