Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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