kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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