did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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