I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
