You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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