I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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