I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
