I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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