just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
