im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.