Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze

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  (305): we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze http://tfl.nu/vupv
  Replies (14) Good night (5615) Bad night (1003)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome

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  (434): i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome http://tfl.nu/lk4z
  Replies (37) Good night (8963) Bad night (1214)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.

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  (515): On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it. http://tfl.nu/mvhu
  Replies (12) Good night (7023) Bad night (1286)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  She's the barista slut.

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  (240): She's the barista slut. http://tfl.nu/aqi5
  Replies (14) Good night (2623) Bad night (979)
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  (854): View more from

  i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews

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  (854): i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews http://tfl.nu/lvjo
  Replies (8) Good night (1844) Bad night (896)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...

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  (419): Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this... http://tfl.nu/jh8c
  Replies (19) Good night (1971) Bad night (3058)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.

  (1-573): View more from Missouri

  Mardi gras at its finest.

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  (573): Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay. (1-573): Mardi gras at its finest. http://tfl.nu/2k5p
  Replies (7) Good night (990) Bad night (1174)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night

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  (250): I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night http://tfl.nu/2rtf
  Replies (5) Good night (1367) Bad night (569)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.

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  (316): It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina. http://tfl.nu/v1d1
  Replies (13) Good night (1716) Bad night (672)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers

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  (780): It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers http://tfl.nu/8ucr
  Replies (3) Good night (955) Bad night (481)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak

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  (479): You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid (918): I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak http://tfl.nu/f0ta
  Replies (6) Good night (1036) Bad night (506)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck

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  (+44): it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck http://tfl.nu/0y2l
  Replies (6) Good night (2058) Bad night (543)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina

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  (917): I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina http://tfl.nu/n2kg
  Replies (3) Good night (1002) Bad night (557)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.

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  (336): He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear. http://tfl.nu/c1b0
  Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (519)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.

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  (512): The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting. http://tfl.nu/6bg7
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (282)

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