Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
