there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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