we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
