I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
this just has baby written all over it
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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