he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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