hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You took a bar mat shot.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
