whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
