? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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