Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
