Umm I'm too high to move.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
